text - zephyrsheedy

TURN TO YOUR LEFT, THERE YOU WILL SEE EVERY PERSON YOU EVER WERE LINED UP FACING YOU. THE PERSON YOU WERE YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE THAT AND THE DAY BEFORE THAT ALL THE WAY DOWN TO INFANCY. NOW TURN TO YOUR RIGHT. THERE YOU WILL SEE EVERY PERSON YOU WILL EVER BE LINED UP FACING AWAY FROM YOU. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU IS THE PERSON YOU WILL BE TOMORROW. YOU CAN SMELL THEM. YOU SMELL LIKE THEM. PAST THEM IS THE PERSON YOU WILL BE THE DAY AFTER THAT AND SO ON AND SO ON THROUGH LIFE AND SICKNESS AND ALL THE WAY UP TO THE MOMENT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY WILL NO LONGER BE. BEHIND YOU, TO YOUR LEFT, THE PAST YOU'S. YOU TURN BACK TO THEM. THEY HAVE BEEN CARED FOR, HAVE CRIED, HAVE HAD THEIR DIAPERS CHANGED, HAVE BEEN INJURED, HAVE BEEN CARED FOR, HAVE LONGED TO BE CARED FOR, HAVE READ BOOKS, HAVE WATCHED MORE MOVIES THAN HAVE READ BOOKS, HAVE TURNED THE LIGHTS ON AND OFF, HAVE KISSED PEOPLE AND FUCKED THEM TOO AND HAVE MADE ATTEMPTS TO SAY THE THINGS THEY FEEL AND HAVE BEEN EMBARRASSED FOR IT AND HAVE BEEN PROUD OF THEMSELVES FOR TRYING. YOU THANK THEM, AND THEY TUMBLE FORWARD, ONE TOPPLING INTO THE NEXT AND BEING ABSORBED BY EACHOTHER, ONE BY ONE UNTIL THEY ARE BACK TO YOU. YOU ABSORB ALL THE SELVES THAT ARE NOT YOU RIGHT NOW. THEN YOU TURN BACK TO YOUR RIGHT AND LOOK OUT AT THE SELVES OF YOU THAT WILL BE. YOU FEEL YOURSELF TIPPING TOWARD THEM, THE MOMENTUM OF THE ABSORBING STILL PUSHING YOU. YOU LOOK ON AT THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO DO A LOT OF THINGS BUT PROBABLY LESS THAN SOME VERSIONS OF YOU THOUGHT THEY WOULD AND THEY WILL CRY AND HOLD BABIES AND HAVE BABIES AND SMILE WHEN THEY DONT MEAN IT AND TAKE BREAKS AND EAT GOOD FOOD AND EAT BAD FOOD AND BUY PRODUCTS AND WRITE EMAILS AND BE CARED FOR AND LONG TO BE CARED FOR AND NOT REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE SOMETHING RIGHT THERE AND HAVE THEIR FACES TOUCHED IN SO MANY DIFFERENT CONTEXTS AND TURN LIGHTS ON AND OFF AND DRIVE IN CARS AND KISS AND SMELL BAD AND THINK THEY ARE ABOUT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON BUT NEVER REALLY DO.

___HEARTFELT, HEART FELT______HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES, & TOES FELT.____

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TALK ABOUT IT BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AND I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL AND IN TALKING ABOUT IT I AM SIMPLIFYING IT WITH WORDS AND I DON'T THINK THAT WILL EVER FEEL RIGHT

THAT WAS SOMETHING.